Moving Forward

Bitter sweet... is saying goodbye to elementary years as a parent forever soon. Both sons will be in junior high next year! Wonderful to have a year of healing with my sons. Anyone that knows me and knew my life with Uel knows that we visited the Wichita Mountains often and have camped in over 33 states, Canada, and Europe with the kids.   Nolan was assigned a teacher that was a little "old school" but has a heart of gold and is so dedicated. Without even knowing our background,  she led my kids to places that have significant meanings to our past. She doesn't know this, but my friends, former students and family in Dublin and Stephenville do. I literally found myself at Camp Grady Spruce (Dublin friends will smile about that), the Wichita Mountains (Uel and my old friends will smile), and the JFK museum(many of my former students and people who know me know I collect JFK memorabilia). We couldn't attend her campouts at Sid Richardson (I have 3 br...

We determine our own destiny, happiness, and we are not victims. We determine our own experiences. Learning to be alone has been very difficult for me. I have recently identified that my main fear is the fear of being alone. I have not had my own identify until now. For over 17 years, I identified myself as the "wife" and prior to that the "daughter."  Sometimes I do feel a little overwhelmed. Recently, I had to make a very hard decision regarding my professional life. Realizing that I must balance a strong relationship with my two sons, I made a tough and final decision. For a short moment last weekend, I had a few regrets. Emotionally, I have always turned to one or two people during moments of change and for the first time last weekend, I realized I am ALONE. Who am I? Can I do this? How will I fix my plumbing, work on my AC unit, check my car tires, landscape, etc.?  Learning that I am valuable, setting appropriate boundaries in difficult situations to defi...

I have always prided myself as a positive and forward-thinking intellectual and at one point even branded myself as a "change agent". How does a "change-agent" manage failures and change in their own life?  This was my challenge in 2014. I looked up last fall to find myself facing divorce after a 17 year relationship, new challenges as a "single mom", huge career changes, relocation, new job, and finding time to complete goals associated with completing a PhD. I found myself questioning my beliefs, self-worth, choices, and ideologies. How does a FT working single mom manage everything? Should I continue pursing a degree? Why did my marriage fail? Was I wrong regarding my approaches to education? How do you pick up when the people you counted on are no longer in your life? Can you trust others? Is everyone out for themselves? How does it feel to be alone? Will my kids understand that I love them so much and it was all for them? I was separated for ...