The Valley of Trust: Finding Connection Through Rest and Healing

Growing up, I was a natural explorer and hiker. In fact, I always felt closest to God in nature, on a hike. Many of those who have known me a while, know that in my 20's and even early 30's, I enjoyed backpacking. With goals early on of hiking the AT, the Grand Canyon, the Alps, and trails all over Colorado, New Mexico, Canada and of course, Texas.  Always on the move, striving, and learning to test my limits, to persist, and overcome. As I grew older, I learned the weight of gravity after a long climb. I would often share with my sons that as the hardest part, the descent after the summit. In fact, my knees, joints, etc. would just be in so much pain climbing down from a mountain.  For the majority of my adult life, I have been very purpose and passion driven. Often, I would spend years working on a higher cause or purpose beyond myself and pouring so much into others or causes. I am so grateful for all of the opportunities afforded to me. I have never been one to not achieve or persist through failure. However, after 30 plus years of striving, I found myself exhausted, and my body and spirit completely broken, exhausted, burnt out. Feeling my light dim, especially after the two eclipse events (my latest summit), I was emotionally and physically exhausted. In addition, through multiple amazing circumstances, I learned to persist through many challenges, setbacks, betrayals, and disappointments. Through these setbacks, I recognized areas of growth and have developed and fine-tuned so many personal development and spiritual skill sets in the last 15 years, since I began this blog. I haven't done this in isolation, working with counselors, spiritual leaders, and life coaches, and like an onion (a counselor once shared), there are many layers to healing and new "discoveries".  I learned discernment skills, worked on expectation management, spiritual warfare/growth, and so much more.  I have known for a few years that I was exhausted and could feel tensions in my muscles and body. The stress of the last 15 years or fear and flight began to really wear on my health and body. Yes, I was working through family past traumas, learning to stop overcommitting to "please" and "prove" my worthiness, setting boundaries years ago, and I learned to remove myself from toxic situations as I could. However, I would often feel exhausted, disappointed again. Like an onion, I needed to continue to work on setting intentions by transforming self-defeating patterns to empowerment. Slowing down has never been easy for me. Trusting after all of this "self" work, was still very hard for me. 

Over the new year, I set the intention to "THRIVE in 2025". Quickly I began to experience disappointments, setbacks, and this time, major health issues.  I learned that I would need a full hip replacement and had to cancel several things, a family trip for my 50th birthday, STEM camps, speaking arrangements and so much more. I just was EXHAUSTED and had to rest for the first time in my adult life, without children at home. I gave myself the permission to not only say no, but to totally put my health and wellbeing first. In order to thrive, you must first fully REST to restore your soul. I had read a few books a few years ago on resting. In fact, my sister-in-law had given me a book on resting. Many had encouraged me to slow down and to heal.  I would read these books, but the practice was not there. I do struggle with overcommitting, working a lot, and found myself totally exhausted. My amazing husband was right there to help me through my healing after surgery, but I found myself having to really listen to my body and take it slower. What happened next? I found that so many stepped up and it was during this season of rest, with the help of others, that I began to break old ways of thinking or cycles this spring and early summer. I realized that I had not allowed myself to really feel great compassion toward my needs and values. Exhaustion keeps you in survival mode, scanning for threats instead of connection. As we grow, our circles and needs change. Lessons I am discovering include the following. 

1. You cannot THRIVE without resting as rest helps us to recognize our true needs. 
2. Slowing down allows you to hear your inner voice, but to also recognize destructive patterns and to improve discernment skills. 
3. We find our worth in stillness. This is self-kindness.
4. Rest awakens self-awareness and self-compassion (a new area of personal growth for me).
5. When you're not running on empty, you have more patience for others' imperfections and also a good understanding of realistic expectations of others. 

As we mature, there's typically a natural winnowing process where we prioritize deeper, more meaningful connections over larger social circles. The exhausting maintenance of superficial relationships gives way to investing in people who truly understand and support our authentic selves. This doesn't necessarily mean becoming antisocial but rather becoming more intentional about where we direct our emotional energy. Quality connections begin to take a priority over quantity and superficial connections. So, what does Thrive in 2025 look like? For the first 7 months of the year, it looked like slowing down, working on my health, canceling commitments, stepping back, which allowed for others to step up and facilitated a restoration and renewal of trust as I work to move forward for the rest of year. Rest allows our nervous system to shift from sympathetic activation (fight-or-flight) to parasympathetic restoration (rest-and-digest). This transition is essential for processing experiences, regulating emotions, and maintaining perspective. 

Thriving means recognizing that rest isn't earned through exhaustion—it's a fundamental requirement for optimal functioning. The most successful people often aren't those who work the most hours, but those who work most effectively because they've mastered the art of restoration. When we honor rest as essential rather than optional, we create conditions where our natural capacity for growth, creativity, and contribution can flourish. Rest doesn't slow us down; it allows us to sustain the pace necessary for true achievement. Thriving requires recognizing that rest isn't monolithic. Physical rest involves sleep and relaxation, but we also need mental rest from constant stimulation, emotional rest from interpersonal demands, and spiritual rest that connects us to meaning and purpose. Now to use the remainder of my summer for "creative" rest. Ready to locate some inspiration as I choose to Thrive in 2025.