Back To School Tips For Divorced Parents

Back to school is hard for kids who come from broken homes. Meet the teacher nights prior to school starting can be stressful as often custody summer arrangements sometimes interfere. This year I met my son's new teacher alone for the first time. My sons were still visiting their dad for the summer. They spend extra time with him in the summer to compensate for missed time during the school year week. Most children from divorced homes do spend long periods of time during the summer with their non-custodial parent. Feelings of guilt crept up as I went to meet the teacher, as it is obvious that my family is now somewhat dysfunctional. Later in the week, one of my dear friends called me who is also is a similar situation but located in another state. We used to teach together and we became close friends due to our numerous collaborative projects. When she called me, she began describing her meet the teacher experience, which was very similar to mine. As we began commiserating on how unfortunate it was for both of our kids, I realized that this was possibly the "norm". With more than half of US children coming from broken homes, we realized that many times public school structures often choose  a one day or time fits all approach to introduce the teacher. As a 17 year public school educator and advocate, this issue never really occurred to me until now. Perhaps this contributes to a lack of parent involvement.

This month I have spent much time reading 4 books on the subject of coparenting and divorce effects on children. It is comforting that there are many of us coparenting households in the US.  This time of the year is rough on single households. How am I preparing?


  1. Limit Confusion: Kids are often confused and things get lost in the shuffle. Set up a checklist or purchase duplicates to ease the stress. Organization is key.
  2. Plan Financial Resources: Single families really have to plan to meet the extra costs that Back to School bring. I am very fortunate and grateful to have resources, but I think of all of the families with single parents working 2-3 jobs to make ends meet. To purchase school supplies for my two children, excluding lunch boxes and backpacks, was a little over $80.00 this summer. Add the cost of backpacks, lunch boxes, gym clothes, school clothes, PTO costs, instruments, lessons, and activities it becomes quickly obvious that this is an issue facing many.
  3. Connect: Set aside a lot of time to be emotionally available for your kids. Many may need counseling to transition. Listen and give them time to process. Limit activities maybe during this time to make time to connect.
  4. Be Proactive: Understand that it is important to be proactive in noticing how your child is dealing with issues. Seek help ahead of time in case professional help is needed and always speak about the other parent in a loving way. Allow the child to contact the other parent and be flexible. It is important to put your child in the center of everything during this time to ease tension and stress. 
Resources:



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

5 Life Lessons Backpacking Taught Me

Image
Growing up my family taught me a large appreciation for the Great Outdoors. Hiking with my father and grandmother early in life formed a spirit of adventure and love for nature.  I feel like we have passed on to my two sons. Growing up in rural Texas, I spent a lot of time hiking around the Colorado River, exploring caves, playing hide and seek with friends in the hill country. In fact, graduation night I will never forget our Glen Rose M&W Ranch adventure. As a college student, I backpacked, canoed, and explored the Great American West.  As young adult hiked the Grand Canyon in 1999, parts of the AT in 1999, 5 trips in a tent across Europe from 1998-2009, Ontario in 2010 and 2012, and have camped in over 33 states. During the last 5 years, like so many became preoccupied with other things and haven't backpacked. I know I haven't backpacked  alone in over 20 years. This last weekend I was fortunate to connect with the North Texas Outdoors Meetup Group and took a leap of
Read more

Future Focus

Image
With the start of the school year, many regroup to reconsider goals. The two year anniversary of my divorce was last weekend and I found myself in a place of reflection. My family has learned so much these last two years. I am much stronger and cognizant of my surroundings, purpose, behaviors, and reactions to situations. None of us are perfect, but we need to be aware and conscious on how we react to situations. Is our reaction coming from a spirit of love, or is the reaction rooted in fear or anger? Here are some goals I hope to remind myself to consider this fall. Learn to cultivate gratitude. Care for your neighbors and community. Practice 3 outcomes or results that you are committed to 6 months out. For me wrapping up PhD hopefully in September, graduation in December, and health. Love is shown through ACTION, not words. How do you show love in all that you do? Care less, but love more. Fear and anger are the two emotions that hurt individuals the most. Fear or worry is
Read more

Rejoice ~ Locating joy in 2023!

Image
In 2019, I began the practice of annual reflection to improve my spiritual, physical, and mental health putting into practice daily journaling/gratitude morning meditation and the development of an annual vision board. In 2022, I spent the entire year studying the art of finding joy. Continuing with this study, I thought it would be important in 2023 to put daily work into learning how to choose joy or recognizing gifts presented to us by the universe daily and to focus on the act of rejoicing in small things. I can say that I am learning to practice joy through the act of rejoicing daily. While I don't always feel positive, I am learning practices and starting to see the fruit from these daily acts. Yes, life is going to be frustrating, people will let us down. At times circumstances are painful, and it is hard to keep going. I sometimes still fail at this, but I through God's help and learning to put my faith in a higher purpose, I am making progress. It is still a daily stru
Read more